Thursday, December 1, 2016

Baby 5 TTC: Sway & Splime-ing in the Salinas Valley

I'm doing a thing that friends have said I should blog about, so hey there, let's do this.

I talked about Gender Swaying in 2010. I've been telling people I swayed girl for Ash, but doing the math... I was already pregnant when I first wrote about it. Here is a bit about what I'm talking about:
"I've also jumped on the TTC (Trying To Conceive) forums on some of my favorite mommy boards and I was soon asked "Do you have a sway?" ....? ...not unless I've had a few.  
Apparently that's not what they meant, they wanted to know if I was doing anything to try to conceive either a boy or a girl specifically... In short, there are high tech methods which include a turkey baster, home microscope, and desperation. And for those who haven't quite lost all self respect and would like to conceive without the help of kitchen utensils and chemistry sets, there are diets, supplements, positions, and scheduling. Well, I'm already cloth diapering, planning on EC'ing soon, and hope to birth a basketball team naturally... I can fit a little more crazy in my life. So I decided to research how to sway for a girl.
So X & Y sperm have different characteristics (or so I've read, I haven't seen them). Y sperm were once thought to be faster than X sperm, but actually X sperm are just heavier (carrying all those extra brain cells I'm sure!) so they swim in circles (ok, maybe not brain cells) while their boy sperm swim straight and therefore reach their final destination sooner. However, X sperm thrive in acidic conditions while Y sperm don't. There are some other factors, but it was enough for me to understand this much. So for a really great "girl sway" the mommy hopeful would follow a very specific diet to alter her body's pH to be as acidic as possible (as well as take supplements and do gross things with vinegar and tampons), refrain from anything that would give the Y sperm an edge (caffeine!), and choose to get it on at times and in ways that give the slow poke circle swimmers an edge. The diet goes on for weeks before hand. I was a little interested. It looked like some mothers opted for a "slight sway" meaning they were just doing some things to raise their girl or boy odds, like eliminating caffeine and lowering their sodium in take, but were choosing to steer clear of the vinegar tampons."
OMG I thought we were going to EC... I was so cute.

... and lime tampons seem to be en vogue in 2016.

Also... OH HAI Desperation.

I've priced the test tubes, centrifuge, microscope...

I also know how much it would costs to go to Mexico for Microsort.

I've explored IVF with PGS (Preimplantation Genetic Screening), locally, across the country, and abroad.

.... and the diet, and pH strips, and all the supplements, and... the underwear (sorry Honey).

Splime. I'm alternately impressed and like... wut?

So we are busy now, right? Y'all don't have time for a long post. When my blogging shifted from college rants (don't go look) to our first pregnancy, most of my friends didn't have babies. Now, so many babies... and it's the best... but babies tear apart houses when parents write or read long blogs so...

Here's our sway announcement. We are doing it. I'll share what method we've decided on soon.

One thing before I assess the damage to my house (yesterday Indy & Everett made a winter wonderland with cat litter while I caught up on emails). If Everett had been a girl, we would still be planning our 5th baby. People ask all the time if we are "going for a girl" and we just want another person. If this baby is a boy, that is fine, he will probably be way rad like his brothers. Should we have a girl, I'm not projecting gender specific expectations on her.. I don't expect to have a special bond, or that we will do special girly things, there's nothing I'm into that I couldn't be into with sons.

Future baby, there's no way you are not amazing. Whoever you are, you are wanted.

I'm interested in experiencing new things. This is an interesting new thing, let's see what happens.

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