Thursday, October 9, 2014

Baby 4 Week 30: Social Media/Cake/Husband Doula



Week 30

If you follow me on facebook I'm sorry that I post about food all the time. I think about sweet stuff almost all the time and me posting about it is like Eminem singing about murdering people instead of doing it. Don't feel sorry for me, I'm not suffering, and I know that a huge reason why I feel amazing right now is because I'm not eating the massive amounts of sugar that I really want. And that's really what I want... all the time. Driving I saw IHOP has a cheesecake waffle... and I wanted it... I've been to IHOP once and I thought it was excessive and gross, but suddenly cheesecake waffle sounds super reasonable. I like sweet stuff like anyone else, but when I'm pregnant it's like my body becomes a suicidal sugary flame seeking diabetic moth...

... and there's lactation oatmeal cookie dough in the fridge... if you were to bet that I'm going to eat it for breakfast... you'd win. I could pretend that I wouldn't eventually eat it... and then maybe eat it at a socially acceptable time, but I'm just going to get it over with and then do some PiYo or something after.

With 8-10 weeks to go I need to start to seriously look at my birth team. I have my husband, I have two amazing midwives, I have my sister in law who may be holding a video camera again or may just be squee'ing in the corner... we'll see... I may have a birth photographer, she needs to be confirmed, one of my former students who is a pro photog may be experimenting with videography... I've even set which birth class we'll be taking (I'll share that another time) and I pretty much have all my home birth supplies assembled. However, I've been putting off choosing a doula.

I want a doula, but I guess I didn't expect to be looking for one. Being in the birth community I figured that things would fall together through friendships and acquaintances. I've really assessed why I want a doula... and my reasons might be kinda stupid. First off, I decided I'm not going to livefeed the birth, but after seeing another mom's doula do all her social media updates (when mom couldn't) I would love to have someone do that for me. Next, it would be great to have someone there to help with stuff like filling the pool, or taking over birthday cake baking duties if Eric and I get busy having a baby. Doulas do so so so much more than this by the way, but our needs and wants are all unique, and mine just happen to be kinda frivolous. I also want someone to help Eric in case he has to like... pee or something... which he rarely gets to do when I'm in labor. I need a lot of physical support from him, usually for the entire labor, and if someone was there to help him I think it would be a better birth for both of us... which is really a very classic role of a doula, to support dad.

I feel definite barriers in making this decision. First, the thing I thought would make this decision easier, being a birth professional, has definitely made it harder. The doula community can be a little political, I know that choosing one doula might be making a statement to other doulas, and I don't want any part of that. Choosing someone who has a similar birth philosophy is important too. I really like all the local midwives, but finding two midwives whose style and philosophy matched up with mine was actually quite challenging. I ended up making zero compromises in who I chose... obviously I chose the midwife who talked loudly about vaginas in public places.

I can definitely like you as a person, and have a very different philosophy as you, and I think mine is pretty unique in my community, though I'm most certainly not alone and I've made connections with women who seem to think like me when it comes to birth. I did ask one doula already, but she will be moving the month before... which was a bummer. Another doula offered, but I don't think we are a good match on that level. I've thought about looking in Santa Cruz, but I don't think we could swing a full fee when we are also paying for the home birth out of pocket and when I feel like my needs are very different from say, a first time mom birthing in a hospital.

So, those are my doula thoughts for now... I'm willing to invest a lot of consideration here... doulas are really important and the closer we get to the birth, the more I know that I want one.

I totally ate the cookie dough already.

Talk to you next week!

What this week was like with my other pregnancies:
        Milo, Week 30: Don't Mind Me... Just Hanging Out... Stuck in the Tub
        Ash, Week 30: Abs of Steel
        Indy, Week 30: Decision Week

-Cori




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