Monday, October 6, 2014

Baby 4 Week 29: I'm Not Going for a Natural Birth

Week 29

Great week! Got some awesome workouts in, including a run, with hills, and more running than walking. My weight held steady this week and I really can't say I had any unpleasant pregnancy feelings. Oh! One super weird thing! I was at a pregnancy moms meet-up (it's just a local group of pregnant moms, super fun, check out our facebook group for meet-ups) and I got a leg cramp, but not my calf... in my thigh! Not even my quad or hamstring, it was my abductor... and it hurt! It eventually went away but it was so weird.

Ok about the title of the post.. so yeah... I was just thinking about it the other day, and I really don't feel like I'm planning a natural birth. I've had a natural birth, and that's not what I want. I feel like everything I'm doing is to help me achieve my goal of an undisturbed birth. One would think that achieving a natural birth would be the highest achievement, but I still feel like I have missed out on a truly normal birth. I still had to negotiate aspects of my birth, I had to answer questions, I was made to lay on my back when that was the last thing I wanted to do, blood was drawn as I pushed, I was instructed to not push when it was the only thing my body wanted to do, waters were artificially ruptured, oxygen put over my face when I couldn't breath... which was because I was on my back. I'm not bitter about my natural birth... and it was certainly totally natural in that it was unmedicated... but it wasn't undisturbed. I was in fact super disturbed. I can't imagine what an animal in that stage of labor would do if you did all those things to her. I wouldn't want anyone else to feel bad about the natural birth they achieve while also having to navigate a system that is not really supportive of it.. it's an amazing achievement... but it's just not what I want this time. Obviously, that's why we are having a home birth... the importance of birthing freely without having to negotiate the terms has just been on my mind a lot this week... and I'm really excited about it.

I got my list of what I need for my home birth from my midwife this week. I don't need a birth kit and I literally have almost everything on the list! Score!

Baby is amazing. I can feel his or her skinny legs and feet so clearly sometimes. I must have less fat on my belly because I never felt this with the others!

What this week was like with my other pregnancies:
        Milo, Week 29: Bigness & Loudness are Positively Correlated
        Ash, Week 29: Get Me a Paper Bag ASAP, Natural Childbirth Freakout
        Indy, Week 29: No Girl No Pie


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