Thursday, June 2, 2011

No Creative Title...

I haven't been blogging lately, I hope you all noticed and missed me. At first I was just busy with a newborn who only slept for 40-90 minutes at a time. Then I felt uninspired. Then I began to wonder if anyone even reads my posts anymore. Then I wanted to get rid of our computer all together because I felt like it made us unproductive... And by then writing wasn't a habit anymore and if you write, you know the more you do it the easier it is... like working out... if you stop, starting again makes you feel how out of shape you are so you avoid it... and it's amazing how out of shape you can get in two months. Proof: I'm typing with a zillion ellipses which is how I type when I'm being lazy. Time to get back into shape and let you all know what we've been up to.

Baby Ash
So much to share about baby Ash. I last posted just after his birth, which I hadn't even really processed yet. I've now processed. I talked to Eric and my midwife about the birth from their perspectives (both thought I did an amazing job) and I have seen video (which I will eventually share once Eric edits it) of me working through contractions. I know that labor was amazing. I loved working through contractions, I felt completely in control and safe. Pushing, however, was fast, furious, and frightening. I wondered if I wanted to do that again, I was afraid every birth would be like that. My midwife said her births were all different. Some were just like mine, but some (at the pushing stage) were more relaxed. That was comforting.

I didn't feel an immediate satisfaction in reaching my goal of a natural child birth like I expected, but my recovery made it all worth it. I was barely sore just days after the birth, compared to weeks of pain after Milo's birth. And it did feel great to know that everything happened just as God and nature intended. I'm so fascinated by how our bodies work, and whether easy or hard, I needed to know how natural labor felt. I'm a curious person and I can't imagine going my whole life without experiencing that, to basically be left out of a very important club. And because I'm curious about what the next birth will be like (and because I appreciate easy recoveries and happy, alert babies) we will plan to have the next baby naturally too.

Not only have I been able to process the birth but I have had plenty of time to get to know this wonderful new baby. Ash has been my lesson in humility. Milo came home sleeping through the night and never fussed... not rarely... never. He also slept almost anywhere. Ash slept for short periods of time, mainly in my arms. Sweet... for the first 72 hours. Long story short, he's sleeping in our bed, I'm wearing him, I'm doing whatever I have to do to keep him happy and get some rest. My rules are being tossed out the window left and right. I had wondered if the people who co-slept and wore their babies did so because of the their own temperaments or the baby's. Could be both, but for us it has been Ash who has determined how we care for him. He is clear about his needs and who are we to deny him? It's all very interesting to me, oh and humbling, because part of me thought Milo was this easy baby because I was such an amazing mom. I might still be amazing, but not amazing enough to change a baby's temperament.

Ash has started to sleep a little longer at night, perhaps a full night's sleep is on the horizon! He soothes himself by sucking his thumb and loves his activity mat. So, a couple months of being a co-sleeping, baby wearing mama didn't produce a clingy baby like a feared. See I admit when I'm wrong (mark your calendar, it doesn't happen often).

Oh more humility! I was never sore with Milo, of course because I was so good at breastfeeding! Or so I thought. With Ash I was in agony for two weeks, and on top of that Ash was having allergic reactions to various food that I was eating. Again, I am grateful for the challenge (though not for Ash's discomfort!). Now I know what cracked, bleeding nipples feel like. I have now had a baby who has a poor latch. I have had a baby that nurses continuously. I've even experienced dysphoric milk ejaculation reflex (d-mer) which basically makes you want to throw your baby while you nurse it, so awesome. Now I've had a frustrating nursing relationship and felt the desire to quit! But now I can help other women who are experiencing those feelings! I still believe these are no excuse to quit. I'm glad I can tell other women "I've been there, it gets better!" Ash is now a pro at the breast and I can be satisfied knowing I persevered in doing what's best for him.

Milo & Ash

Milo is pretty oblivious to Ash. Ash sleeps mainly in his car seat and if he is fussing Milo will walk over and start rocking the car seat to quiet him down. Sometimes he will take Ash a toy and walk away, but that's about it. Oh but Milo is very aware of when I am breastfeeding! When I'm tied down with Ash is when he bolts for the first off limits activity he spots, pushing buttons on the baby swing or sneaking into the dining room. Other than that, no signs of jealousy which is great. Definitely a huge benefit of having babies close together!

All About Milo
Milo is getting to be such a big boy! He is so tall, 35 inches at his 18 month appointment (and 30 pounds!). He still isn't talking much, he knows quite a few words but he is stingy with them. He says no (what toddler doesn't!), hi, uh oh, yeah, dada, mama, night night, thank you, eye, woof woof, bebe, booberry, cracker, cheese, quack quack, and he attempts cock-a-doodle doo, which is sooo cute by the way. Of course when family is around his lips are sealed!

One of the most fun parts of having a toddler is seeing how he mimics us. Milo does the cutest things, like grabbing the boppy and a baby doll and "nursing" it. He's great with the bunnies, he's very gentle. He's also all boy though, and finds stuff to crawl on top of and get into all the time.

Well I think that's enough of an update for now! Summer is nearly here and I'm sure I will have many awesome adventures to share, along with some new parenting lessons I'm sure.

Milo is 19 months old and Ashley is almost 12 weeks old.

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