Saturday, September 11, 2010

Hardwood Floors Ruined... Check.

I was going to title this "I'm A Bad Mom" but Milo is still alive, isn't in jail and hasn't gotten anyone pregnant so I guess I'm still ok. The hardwood floors? Not so much.

Keeping Milo contained nowadays is getting a little tricky. He is fast, strong, and fearless. If we are in the playroom, which is big with lots of toys and completely childproofed because it's set up for daycare, everything is fine. However, unless I'm being paid to be in there, it's not where I want to spend my day. So I childproofed the living room as well and blocked off his only escape route with the collaped corral. Putting him in the corral itself wont cut it. It's too small and too boring for him, he needs the whole room with books he can pull of the shelves and remotes he can hide under the couch. Well, Milo and his super baby strength can now drag the corral out of his path of destruction, even when reinforced with heavy toys and the ottoman.

To keep him IN the living room I have to be in baby jail too. Even if he doesn't even look at me, he's just happy I'm trapped too. So I make it work, saving all living room related activities (laundry folding, dusting, soap watching) for Milo's play times.

That's a long set up for this story, sorry. Well yesterday Milo was being active and I needed to talk to a friend online, so I blocked him in best I could in the living room and logged on in the dining room, which is completely open to the living room and I can see everything Milo is doing. As I chatted I saw him push the ottoman out of the way, then the wooden activity cube, then the corral. Then, giggling all the way (he gets a total baby high from escaping) he jams towards the dog. I decide to let him go ahead and play on the dog bed (ew, but it's just fur). He continued to grab other off limit stuff (my phone, an unplugged cord, a notebook) but none of it was dangerous and I wanted to finish out this conversation so I let him get away with being bad.

Then he found a bottle of nail polish.

I saw that he had it, he was right at my feet, and he was sooooo happy. I took it from him, tightened it as tight as it would go, and then have it back to him. He crawled furiously around the room banging it on the floor, finally planting himself in front of the kitchen door with his back to me. I watched him bang and scrape the bottle on the floor, then he got thoughtful and quiet... and I got concerned.

I stood up from the laptop, and to my horror I saw that there was silver nail polish all over his legs, hands, and the floor. I immediately had a meltdown in my head, keeping things cool for Milo because when he's upset, he sucks his thumb, and right now his thumb is covered with paint. I picked him up and looked for the nail polish remover, found it, and found that were were 2 drops left. Another meltdown, then I dried Milo best I could and made the shameful trip to CVS with my polish covered child. If you live in a small town, you know that everyone you've ever known is at the drug store whenever you have to buy something you'd like to keep private, or when you look like crap. This was worse.

After the fasted CVS run ever I got the polish off Milo and off the floor, but the floor is ruined. The finish came off with the polish, but what can you do. We planned to get the floors refinished, but maybe now we'll wait until Milo is 18, or we build a better baby jail.


  1. I could have written the second and third paragraphs of this blog, exactly. Except, we use 8 gallon water bottles to hold the corral against the bookshelf (we don't have an ottoman), and he still knocks the thing over. Also, he isn't happy or interested in his toys unless I am sitting on the couch.

    That sucks about the nail polish and the floors. I can imagine the embarrassed hilarity of running into people at CVS with a paint covered baby in one hand and a bottle of polish remover in the other. We have so much more stuff like that to look forward too! :) You just have to laugh. Did you at least take a picture?

  2. I gave up on the bookshelf after What The Epect The First Year lectured me on how important it is to let children explore their world, and I believe they even used clearing bookshelves as an example. He can't reach any of the important books and what else do I need to do other than put back books every night?

    No I did not take a picture, I totally should have, but I was flipping out over the toxic chemicals seeping into Milo's skin. I don't know why but I just felt like the clock was ticking and the first death by nail polish was eminent.