Friday, August 20, 2010

Something I Have to Do

Something I've been doing for a while is reading the blogs of mothers who have lost a child, usually a baby. I also read the stories and look at the pictures of people who have used NILMDTS (Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep), a community of volunteer photographers who will photograph babies who are expected to not live long after birth or are stillborn. Eric doesn't know why I do it, and sometimes I don't either. I cry, sometimes really ugly crying, and it tears me apart but for some reason I keep doing it. Tonight as I sniffed through a blog I think I was able to finally explain it to Eric.

The way I see it is that if these women LIVED through the greatest tragedy that any woman will ever face, the LEAST I can do is to momentarily share in her pain. I know what I am feeling is nowhere near what she is, but I feel like I have to know about her story and her struggle. I feel that it's somehow wrong to just ignore them just because it's hard to hear. If they have the strength to live through and then even share their story, then I should have the strength to hear it. These are things that most people never want to think or worry about, but these stories are apart of life and I feel like the deserve to be heard.

So, I guess it can seem morbid or like it's unnecessary torture, but I feel like I have to know, not only so I can honor them and their story, but because I could just as easily be standing in their shoes, and I know I wouldn't want my difficult story swept under a rug.

1 comment:

  1. Definitely. People seem to view those in search of sympathy as unnecessarily needy. However, sometimes people experience things that genuinely warrant sympathy. If I lost a child, you are damn straight I's want some sympathy! I cannot imagine how hard that would be. If I had the strength to blog about it, I definitely wouldn't want it overlooked...that would make the pain of loss even more intense. Though I wouldn't expect people to comment, because sometimes it is very hard to figure out the right thing to say...I would let myself believe that people were reading it and shedding a tear for my loss. I think these women deserve that...and from now on, Cori, I want you to send me links to all the ones that you case I cannot find them myself. I want to honor these women, too!