Sunday, October 25, 2009

Baby I Week 40 + 3 Days: Strip Tease

This is it... this is the last pregnancy blog you get. From here on out you get baby blogs... so cherish this one ok? At least until I'm pregnant again...

Week 40, and 3 days, or 5 days... depending on which OB I'm talking to. There's always been a discrepancy on the actual due date. I've gained about 40 lbs, I've been fluctuating between 38 and 40. I am very excited to see the scale start to move down again!

So on Thursday I had an appointment with my regular OB after not seeing him for 4 weeks, or 3... not sure. Anyhow, the appointment started with getting "checked" and I was 3cm, 60% effaced. He said he was touching Milo's head, which I thought was neat. Then he starts twisting his fingers and really digging. It hurt, and I knew what he was doing, I was just SO surprised he didn't ask my permission, which I explicitly told him to do before. Part way through he says "I'm stripping your membranes." That's when the doctor uses his finger to separate some of the bag of waters from the uterus, which can induce labor. I was actually going to ask him to do it, I was just surprised he didn't ask me first.

After the exam and stripping, he sat down and suggested we induce the next day, Friday, my due date. He gave me all the reasons why he advised it, but said it was ultimately my decision. When he stopped I said, "I don't want to induce now, I'd like to at least go through the weekend." He smiled and said "I knew you'd say that, that's why I was extra rough with the membrane stripping, hopefully that'll get you into labor." I thought that was funny, even if he did go against my wishes.

I had some cramping but nothing came of the membrane stripping. I had 3 days to make labor happen on my own... I was ready to try anything and everything. I just started going down the list. We were already having sex at least once a day, and I was taking Evening Primrose Oil and drinking lots of Red Raspberry Leaf Tea. Oh and lots and lots and lots of walking! We tried a super spicy dinner first, then the next day I ate a whole pineapple. That didn't work either. My last resort was castor oil.

So the idea behind castor oil starting labor is pretty gross. It's a strong laxative. It causes the intestines to spasm, and since the intestines a wrapped around the uterus, the uterus gets in on the party too. Voila, labor.

I'll spare you all the details... because it wasn't that exciting (though it did yield an 8 minute video of me looking at the glass not wanting to drink the oil), but not much happened. A couple trips to the bathroom, some cramps, but no baby. I took 2 doses, nothing.

So I guess this whole induction business is gonna begin tomorrow at 6am. Not stoked, I REALLY looked forward to laboring at home. I hope that I progress quickly tomorrow, because I rather not spend forever in the hospital. We do have a good plan in place to avoid addition interventions, hopefully this goes well.

Wish me luck! I'll leave you with my last official belly shots. Crazy right?

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Baby I Week 39: The Good, The Bad, & The Girl That Screams At Strangers

Week 39 has been pretty good to me. My feet look like they've been wrapped in dough (please see super sexy feet pictures below), but other than that, things have been good! Oh, I do have one complaint!

So apparently I have restless legs syndrome... which is a syndrome where you want to get an ax and chop off your arms and legs because they hurt SO freaking bad! It's happened a few times before, where suddenly I'm getting the worst growing pains on Earth in my arms and legs and all I can do is writhe around and cry and whimper til it stops. Nothing helps. Walking laps around the house does distract some, but not entirely, so I usually opt for the writhing and whimpering option.

Today I finally googled the symptoms and restless legs syndrome (which can occur in both the arms and legs, who knew?) matched. It can come on with pregnancy, and will go away after (thank GOD!!!).

I saw yet another OB this week, it was a great appointment. She had actually read my birth plan before entering the room and addressed it several times. Only complaint, she did say that if the baby got stuck then I couldn't push in different positions, which is disappointing, but oh well. Can't win 'em all!

I've really begun to get VERY annoyed with strangers asking about the pregnancy, I know, how cliche of me! I would have LOVED the attention 4 or 5 months ago, but now I really don't feel like talking about it! I don't want the checker at OSH's advice, I don't want the drunk chick at the Mucky Duck telling me "just have 1 girl, just have 1!" ... I just don't want to fucking talk about it!!! I've started to get a little rude about it... especially as it's been hotter... I annoy much more quickly!

Operation Get This Baby Outa Me! is going pretty well if you ask me. I'm drinking tons of Red Raspberry Leaf Tea, taking 3000mg of Evening Primrose Oil orally, and I apply 1000mg to my cervix at night (and by "I" I mean Eric because seriously, there's no way I could reach), and I'm staying active with a daily routine of bouncing on my birthing ball, squats, walking, and sex. I've been having lots of contractions and cervical pain so something is working!!!

So let's hope my next blog is about Milo's arrival!!! Cross your fingers and toes!!!!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Baby I Week 38: A Little Faith

Week 38, I'm full term! Babies typically arrive anywhere between 38 and 42 weeks, so Milo could be here any time now! I've now gained 33 pounds and... gulp... I weigh more than Eric does. I know, and he's HAPPY! He thinks it's hysterical, I think mostly because he knows it's temporary, there's no way I'll be one of those chicks that gets super fat after kids because she doesn't care anymore. I care, I care A LOT!

Ok so this week finally broke me, this will all sound very dramatic so I need to include a disclaimer, I'm fine with all this. I know it will work out, but my "style" is to freak out, rant and rave... and then laugh about it later. Just so you know, I'm ok :)

So, did I mention last week that my OB was going to be gone for a week? I don't' remember. I talked to him via phone 10/1, Thursday, and I brought up that the receptionist said he'd be gone for my next appointment (10/9) and he replied, "yes, I'll be gone from Friday to Friday," which I take to mean 10/2-9. I can deal with that. I go on to see yet another OB on 10/9, my least favorite. He makes me feel invisible and I feel like when I bring up anything pertaining to natural childbirth, he mocks me. Example:

Me: "Can you check to see if the baby is Posterior, I'd like to know if I should be doing anything to change his position."
Grumpy Old OB: "There's no way to tell the position." (Not fucking true, but whatever)
Me: "Ok, well I guess I'll just keep hanging out on my birthing ball, which would encourage him to be in a good position anyway."
Grumpy Old OB: "Haha, yeah, you do that."

Seriously, I wanted to stab the man in the face! He also has a habit of NEVER looking at my birth plan. Anyhow, then I'm sitting in the room with him and I over hear another patient outside saying "So Dr. Gilbert will be returning the 21st? Ok."

Um, apparently "Friday to Friday" was Friday the 9th to Friday the 21st!!! So not only have I just had a few bad experiences with the other OB's in the office, but now the chances that the OB I've chosen, a decision I AGONIZED, will probably be gone when I go into labor. FUCKING AWESOME!!! I was in a fog of panic, I stopped and made an appointment, and asked again if I heard right. I had. Cut to atom bomb going off in slow motion...

I got in the car and put on "Watch the Sky" by Something Corporate, I knew what was coming it was the perfect song for it to happen to. I cried and laughed the whole way home. I was so pissed because everything was going so wrong, but then I laughed because... everything was going SOOOO WRONG, it was just over the top. I had been so careful to do everything I could to prepare for the birth we wanted, and we knew it could all fall apart, but we figured if it fell apart, it would fall apart during labor and delivery... That's what we totally expected, but this was something bigger.

I usually don't get all Jesusy on here, because I've been trying to keep my blogs as relatable as possible, but I do believe very firmly in God, the Bible, and that there is a plan for us. I don't think that gives us a license to float through life aimlessly just because we believe God has our back. That's why we prepare and plan, but I admit, we (uh... I...) may have taken it too far, and this was my big test. Will I flip the fuck out, or not? There's nothing like the moment when you know, this is TOO insane, this must be God. And that was what my drive home was... no one can mix things up like he can, and here I am in the middle of it.

So... we've done our part, we really have. And we just need to relax from here on out, because it really is out of our hands, and we're ok with that. Here's to having a little faith.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Writing About Packing for the Hospital Instead of Doing It

Ok so I've been talking about packing like every day for 2 weeks. I got the bag, I got the stuff, I just need to introduce them, but for SOME reason this is hard to do. I guess my laziness is pretty epic right now. I am nearly positive that I will not start packing until I'm in labor... Eric agrees. I just keep thinking, "Well I need to pack this... oh but I might need it, I'll wait." I think that makes sense.

Anyhow how, to create the illusion of progress, I'm going to blog about packing... instead of doing it. I'll pack tomorrow... maybe.

If you have any ideas or know of things I'm forgetting, let me know!

I have 2 bags, bag 1 is my labor bag:
• My birth plan, like 10 of them
• Signs for my door & tape
• A watch
• A super comfy robe & slippers
• Something to wear in the tub
• Pillows
• Birthing ball (ok I can't really pack it, but it's coming)
• Hair ties
• Lip balm
• Super soft wash cloth, for sweaty face wiping
• "Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way" incase Eric needs to look something up
• iPod & dock
• Camera & charger
• Video camer & charger
• Cell charger
• Awesome smelling massage lotion
• Sugar-free suckers
• Small ice chest with cold packs
• Snacks, juice boxes, and Propel
• A pad and pencil to write down questions

Bag 2, after baby is here:
• Nursing bras and pads
• Maxi Pads
• Jammies
• Leggings
• Slippers (incase I ruined the other ones)
• Cute sweatsuit set for going home
• Flip flops
• Contacts & contact stuff
• Toothbrush and toothpaste
• Travel shampoo, conditioner... etc
• Make-up, brush, hair dryer and straitener
• Razor
• Mirror to put on bed tray, so I can get pretty in bed
• More snacks!
• Change of clothes & toiletries for Eric
• Going home outfit for Milo
• A cloth diaper JUST IN CASE he's big enough to fit in it
• Receiving blanket

Any other suggestions????

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Labor Playlist

So I've read an obscene number of birth stories on the baby forums I'm addicted to. Every so often I come across mommies that say how important it was for them to have a killer labor playlist to get lost in, so I thought, why not. Might as well. I might not need it and just want the constant, quiet encouragement from my husband... but I could also imagine it really helping once at the hospital, to block out the" Dios Mio!!!'s" and whatever else I'll hear echoing through the halls of labor & delivery at SVMH. Anyhow, as of now I kinda expect to get stuck on one song, because that's usually what I do. Right now, it's been Anberlin's "The Unwinding Cable Car" which oddly enough makes me think of labor, and perseverence, so it's at the top of my list :) Wickham's "Divine Romance" and Too Bad Eugene's "Charismata" are very close seconds.

I picked songs that I can always loose myself in, that take me to another place and time. Most of these songs have at one time or another been on loop on my iPod as I fall asleep... some of them got me through some shitty nights, and who knows, one of them might get me through another :)

This is a work in progress, looking for suggestions! Songs towards the top of the list are ones I think I will want most... but I added other songs that I may be craving just in case :)

Anberlin "The Unwiinding Cable Car"
Something Corporate "Watch The Sky"
Kate Walsh "Goldfish"
Blue October "Into The Ocean"
Too Bad Eugene "Charismata"
Phil Whickham "Divine Romance"
Huntingtons "Hooray For You"
Nickel Creek "When You Come Back Down"
Israel Kamakawiwo'ole "Over The Rainbow"
Teenage Bottlerocket "Anna's Song"
Paul Alan "Bring You Back"
Todd Agnew "Grace Like Rain"
AFI "Love Like Winter"
The Adorkables "Right Next to You"
Katy Perry "Thinking of You"
Something Corporate "Only Ashes"
Bound To Break "I'm Home"
Rufus Wainwright "Hallelujah"
James Taylor "Copperline"
Barlow Girl "Beautiful Ending"
Delirious? "Rain Down"
Decemberists "Crane Wife 3"
Lemuria "Hours"
Kate Walsh "Your Song"
Bayside "Devotion and Desire"
Thousand Foot Krutch "Forward Motion"
Smoking Popes "Valentine"
Huntingtons "Samantha Doesn't Want Me"

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Baby I Week 37: Engagement Party, Hospital Tour, Tough Decisions.

Ahh late again! I'm 37 weeks I feel like every week could be the last week now, but I guess that's because it really could be!!! I've now gained 30 pounds... so I guess it's been around 2-3 pounds a week for a little while now.

I'm actually feeling REALLY good now, FINALLY! I think it's because Milo dropped this week. I can breathe again and have less heartburn. Milo's moving less, or at least I feel it less, he's so deep. My last OB appointment confirmed it, he's engaged, meaning his head is low in my pelvis and ready for blast off! I'm also 1 cm diliated, but not effaced at all yet. Hopefully with all the Evening Primrose Oil I'm taking and sitting on my birthing ball aaaall the time I will make more progress soon!!!

Eric and I took a tour of SVMH, and it did not go well. I don't trust the nurses. They seemed nice, but anytime anyone in the group brought up something about a natural delivery, you could see the nurse get tense and not want to be helpful. When I asked where I should put my birth plans, she seemed to 1/2 dismiss the question, then said "you can have one in your chart." Oh thanks, as if every nurse will be reading through it as she makes rounds. The right answer was for her to say "bring several to the nurses station" because then they can look it over ahead of time. Just for that answer, I'm going to staple them to the walls, or maybe just bring a stack to the nurses station.

I also didn't like her explaination of what happens after the birth, which was "you'll have the baby and we will take it and assess it over here and warm it up here and then put it in the crib." What? How about, "you'll have the baby, and we'll hand it to you" ...the end. This made me really nervous, because even though my OB said I can have Milo right away, I still feel like a nurse will be taking him off to a table to hurry up and do her thing and I'll be left screaming for my baby, which I WILL do if they take him and there is not a clear emergency.

Also, not a single nurse at the nurse's station could tell us which rooms had working whirlpool tubs, NOT ONE! Several said "Oh, I haven't even seen one being used." I guess unmedicated births are just that rare, lol, because in an unmedicated labor, water is an awesome tool in pain relief. We know there is a tub in room 232, so that's what we will be asking for, but no one could tell us if the jets even work, great. To make SURE we get a room with a tub, we will probably call the hospital throughout early labor and whenever they say a room with a tub is open, that's when we will go in, unless one just never opens up, which will really bug me because chances are whoever is in that room isn't even using it!

I may be worrying for nothing, but this tour was just disappointing answer after diasappointing answer, I hope we just had a bad tour guide.

So... with the whole Diabetes thing I'm having to make some super hard decisions, which sucks. All of our original plans revolved around the assumption that my pregnancy would be a normal, uncomplicated one. Now that my pregnancy is considered to be high risk, I've had to adjust what interventions I will accept and when I will accept them. This has been VERY hard because there is a lot of conflicting information, poor information, and sometimes no information at all. My OB has been bringing up that if I do not go into labor by my due date he will want to induce. That is not our wishes because with an induction, your chances of having a c-section are increased by 50%. Also, not only are contractions more painful for the mother, but they are very hard on the baby too. I can take the pain, but there's nothing my baby can do to escape the far more intense contractions, I just don't think that's fair and it's not how I want my baby to enter this world. I don't understand how mothers don't care about this!

Well at my last appointment I saw another OB (since we don't know for sure who will be on call when I'm in labor), and right away she starts talking ultrasound, induction, and c-section, AHH NO!!! It's common for OB's to try to induce GD mothers before their due date, and the first step to pressure the mother into complying is to order an ultrasound. I'm lucky MY OB has not psuhed this, I think it's science he just doesn't believe in (weight predictions that is) so having an OB I've seen only twice try to take the reins of this pregnancy bothered me. Also, it made me nervous because what if SHE ends up being the one delivering Milo, she may order a c/s only because she doesn't have the skills to assist in the delivery of a large baby. Cori does NOT approve.

So... decision one... to go through with the ultrasound. I decided not to. I let her schedule it, but after letting it worry me sick for 3 days I called and cancelled it. IF it shows the baby is big, I won't trust the information any way. It truly is bad science. However, even though it could be wrong, that information could be used to justify a c/s that I don't need and that I don't want. No good.

Decision two... to allow a chemical induction. I decided I WILL allow an induction after 40 weeks. I consulted midwifes and other natural birthing mothers who have had GD, and have done quite a bit of reading, and it does seem to be safest. I've started doing EVERYTHING possible to prepare my body for the birth and help soften my cervix so it will dilate easily, so hopefully I will not go passed my due date, but if I do, here is the plan (considering the baby is still doing very will on his non stress tests, which we get twice a week. My due date is on a Friday, I'm sure I'd go in for an appointment then. I'm sure we'd talk induction, and I'll ask to be able to go through the weekend, which I think is reasonable. Over the weekend I'd try to incude labor on my own. I've looked up some castor oil "cocktails." HOPEFULLY that would work. If not, I'd ask to get my membranes stripped on Monday... and if that doesn't work, I'd go in for a Pitocin induction on Wednesday, unless my OB lets me wait longer, but for now he hasn't said he'd give me that extra time. Originally I was going to ask for Cervadil, which is just a gel they put on your cervix, but THAT'S made of pig semen and I'm sorry, that's just gross. Hopefully since I'm already beginning to dilate and I have TONS of contractions throughout the day, an induction would go smoothly and I would need very little Pitocin to get me going. I would also ask that it was increased only at 1/2 increments, so we'll see. If I can stay involved in the induction process, I'm sure I'd feel better... but let's all hope it doesn't come to that!

Gosh sorry this is so long... I'm sure I'm the only one that cares about all this!!!