Friday, December 14, 2007

The Alchemist

I have decided that I don't care too much about what people think of me... my greatest challenge is dealing with how other people think of others, and THAT being applied to me. I've wanted to post this passage for a while, but what stops me is all the little mockingbirds that write these beautiful, lovely blogs... but they are all fake. The little mirrors that know how to perfectly reflect a love that they don't actually know. I'm afraid their lies will be applied to me, though I really do have something perfect, what we were meant to have. I'd hate for that to be likened to, and mistook as anything near what they claim they have... or had. But I must post this, I've been putting it off but I have to share, mockingbirds be damned.

I started out hating this book. I came by it on a recommendation from Meredith, and I was shocked but it's dull simplicity... not what I expected from her at all! I covered the first 70 pages in an evening. Then suddenly, a book about a Spanish shepherd on a journey through Egypt became about a girl with previously no faith in love or a plan who comes to give her entire life to both. Suddenly the book was about me... and right on in it's delivery.

This is what I want to share with you... it's a passage that makes for a turning point in the character, just as I had sitting next to Eric one night talking about God and love and a plan. If you've never had one of those moments where the fog is lifted and the world makes perfect, clear sense... I'm so sorry. It's amazing when your life finally snaps into focus, never to blur again.

Anyhow... this is from The Alchemist, by Paulo Coelho:
"She smiled, and certainly that was an omen--the omen he had been awaiting, without even knowing he was, for all his life. It was the pure language of the world. It required no explanation, just as the universe needs none as it travels through endless time. What the boy felt at that moment was that he was in the presence of the only woman in his life, and that, with no need for words, she recognized the same thing. He was more certain of it than anything in the world. He had been told by his parents and grandparents that he must fall in love and really know the person before becoming committed. But maybe people who felt that way have never learned the universal language. Because, when you know that language, it is easy to know that someone in the world awaits you, whether it's in the middle of the desert or in a great city. And when two such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and future become unimportant. There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world."
I hope the shepherd boy get's to come home to his desert girl... and live every day and night as blissfully as Eric and I are. We will see.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Something Different

Ten things you want to say to ten different people:
1. I need to know that I am truly forgiven for that phase I went through... I need to know every day that I have your friendship and you still love me as much as you did before that horrible time because you’re a friend I can’t stand to lose.

2. I hate that everyone believed your lies, comforted you, and will never know the truth! Everytime I hear "poor you" I so desperately wish I could say "oh if only you knew!" but I can’t blame them because if I hadn’t heard you with my own ears I wouldn’t have believed it myself and you would still have my love & friendship despite the awkward circumstances. I wish I knew how even with the knife in your hand you come off as the sacrificial lamb.

3. I want to be your friend. I want you to be apart of my world and I want to be apart of yours but I don’t know how to ever make it happen... because I think that if it was going to happen, it would have by now.

4. I hate most girls but not you! You don’t feel fake, you aren’t sicky sweet splenda that turns to disgusting poison when the pressure is turned up like some girls I know. I really appreciate you. I trust you with my secrets... like candy. You aren’t a freaking mirror, just becoming what everyone else around you is! You are such a breath of fresh air! And you don’t smoke... I heart you.

5. You’re gay... admit it so we can call off the bets.

6. I think it’s really ironic that you are such a pious Christian but your girlfriend has a white trash hooker’s name.

7. I’m so glad that we are good and that we can drink and laugh and party it up hardcore like I always wish we could before!!!

8. I want to know how you can sleep at night knowing that you are so much less than what you are capable of being... I want to know if you ever feel as if you have showered away the filth you’ve become. Is the fog that the drugs bring ever quite enough to obscure the ugly truth?

9. You are the only person in the world I wish death on because even though it would hurt your children, your wife has always deserved better, but she is too good of a wife to leave you... I truly hate that she is wasting herself on you.

10. I’m sorry you hurt but it’ll be ok... just trust me.

Nine things about yourself:
1. I’m not like I was.
2. I’m far beyond content.
3. I’m consistent.
4. I think college is over rated.
5. I still fall in love with baby bunnies.
6. I’m a natural cook.
7. I’m loyal to a fault.
8. I’m every man’s dream.
9. But only one man’s reality :)

Eight ways to win my heart:
1. Protect me and never be willing to be bullied, bribed or begged away from your post... even if it’s by me.
2. Tell me when I’m funny, I can never hear it enough.
3. Humor me when I ask you if I’m pretty for the billionth time.
4. Have total confidance in me.
5. Make me laugh until I literally can’t breath... and make it look like you weren’t even trying.
6. Seduce me every night as if I’m not a sure thing.
7. Write songs about me and pretend the songs about other girls... aren’t.
8. Just be Eric... no one else could’ve won me like he did :)

Seven things that cross your mind alot:
1. Eric.
2. Babies.
3. Bunny work.
4. House shopping.
5. Working out (or lack there of).
6. What to make for dinner.
7. Eric some more.

Six things you wish you never did:
1. England.
2. CSUMB.
3. Looked up to her.
4. Listened to & liked K-LOVE.
5. Asked evil Scott to show us a house.
6. Wasted my time on anyone that wasn’t Eric.

Five turn offs:
1. If you’re not confident.
2. If you’re not insanely hott.
3. If you’re not clean & you don’t smell good.
4. If you’re not flirty & fun in bed.
5. Basically, if you’re not Eric.


Three words that describe your life:
1. Peaceful
2. Passionate
3. Perfect

Two things you want to do before you die:
1. Have sex in a castle.
2. Populate the Earth with little Erics... maybe starting in a castle?

One confession:
1. I don’t just love my husband... I’m flat out addicted to him