Tuesday, April 10, 2007

A Lust

It's like a nervous tick. When it's too quiet and too still, I get this kind of twitch. It's a reflex to resist until there's a little slip and I'm tempted to make this trip which is kind of where I sit

It's a lust for attention—

Not for social ascension, nor selfish convention, not praise I'm demanding, just simple understanding. I tire of the tension and branding, misunderstanding and lack of comprehension. How, when so many could learn from one another, do we still have so much conflict and dissension?

And of what am I talking? Of course curiosity is the source of your stalking, your tracking of my blogging, perhaps a clue or two to the force behind my varied discourse, hidden opinions on my life's progression, and the new beliefs I endorse. In a mine you sift through my word's design for evidence of remorse, reference to divorce, pre, post, extramarital intercourse, or controversial friendship praemorse. In my little stores, in my cracks, crevices, in my mind's vast concourse they're there, their antrorse poking sprouting uprooting my little universe.

The temptation undulating, the message I'm relating, is cyclical defending.

U hope to have not written this vainly so for once I'll treat you humanely and convey my message plainly...

I'm occasionally tempted to defend myself and what I write, to explain that I mean no harm and that it is all in good fun. But any misunderstanding is the fault not of the misunderstood but of the person doing the misunderstanding because they have chosen the mode in which to understand their subject. Cybercori is real life Cori on crack, she's fun to be but she isn't quite me... after all, who actually would put their full self on the web for anyone to see? I think that's just a touch vulgar, for I prefer to save that side for those who know me more intimately.

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