Monday, October 16, 2006

Another Statistic, Another Body to Step Over

For those faithfuls who have followed my blogging for quite sometime, you may remember my fear and doubt that was my journey through my own proverbial Vegas. Well the signs I cowered beneath have slowly flickered out. A neon "You were too young!" blinked out with the slamming of a door. A smirking "It'll never last" grinned its last in the angry signature on the papers. And one by one when their job was done, they went dark, off to haunt another.

So, my path is dark and now I've become what I've never wanted to be. Now my ugly name glows neon above every other trail, as just another failed marriage, another gory body to be stepped over. I'm so afraid for those still walking and those about to begin! As I stepped upon the path I believed the bodies I stepped over simply did not work hard enough, were undedicated, were not prepared, and did not truly care for their journey. Perhaps some of them were, but some are me. Some fought and bled and cried and worked, even when they were told there was no need. Some were told everything was great, some were fed happy lies to be kept quiet until they saw their signs flicker out without a warning or explanation, but a simple "You should have known."

I want to have some great wisdom for my friends who have just begun the journey, but I only have warnings. Sometimes the most genuine "I love you" is "I don't," and you won't know. Sometimes the same continual "I'm happy" is "I'm not," and you won't know. Sometimes you die not for your sins, but for the sins of others, and you won't even know that.

Loves, you can only hope for honesty, because promises and honor are apparently out dated; lying and lazy hearts are now all the rage.

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