Monday, October 16, 2006

Another Statistic, Another Body to Step Over

For those faithfuls who have followed my blogging for quite sometime, you may remember my fear and doubt that was my journey through my own proverbial Vegas. Well the signs I cowered beneath have slowly flickered out. A neon "You were too young!" blinked out with the slamming of a door. A smirking "It'll never last" grinned its last in the angry signature on the papers. And one by one when their job was done, they went dark, off to haunt another.

So, my path is dark and now I've become what I've never wanted to be. Now my ugly name glows neon above every other trail, as just another failed marriage, another gory body to be stepped over. I'm so afraid for those still walking and those about to begin! As I stepped upon the path I believed the bodies I stepped over simply did not work hard enough, were undedicated, were not prepared, and did not truly care for their journey. Perhaps some of them were, but some are me. Some fought and bled and cried and worked, even when they were told there was no need. Some were told everything was great, some were fed happy lies to be kept quiet until they saw their signs flicker out without a warning or explanation, but a simple "You should have known."

I want to have some great wisdom for my friends who have just begun the journey, but I only have warnings. Sometimes the most genuine "I love you" is "I don't," and you won't know. Sometimes the same continual "I'm happy" is "I'm not," and you won't know. Sometimes you die not for your sins, but for the sins of others, and you won't even know that.

Loves, you can only hope for honesty, because promises and honor are apparently out dated; lying and lazy hearts are now all the rage.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Chinese Food:2 Cori:1

So we all know what a bulimic is, right? it is someone who "intentionally" eats a bunch of food, or "binges," then pukes it up, "purges," in order to prevent weight gain. Well friends, I'm finally ready to admit that I am a Chinese food bulimic. Out of the last three times I've eaten Chinese food (not including right now, as I'm eating chow mien and orange chicken as I write this and am yet to know how this episode will turn out), I have thrown it up twice. So, if I "intentionally" "binge" on something that has a 2 out of 3 chance of making me "purge," does that not make me bulimic? Now most people would say, "But Cori, put the freaking chopsticks down and walk away from the beef and broccoli and everything will be fine." Yes but this is apart of the disease, I can't stop... and do I really want to?

Remember back in the day when pregnancy was considered a disease, we're talking like a couple hundred years ago, but now it's embraced as totally natural and wonderful. Well maybe this is only a disease today, maybe I am in fact more highly evolved and have devolved a mechanism that helps me to automatically reject unhealthy food. I, unlike you, will be able to enjoy this meal right now worry free, knowing I will be safely hurling my guts out later.

Friends, family, and highly important scientists, we are ready do add another rung to the evolutionary latter, and it's me...