Thursday, September 21, 2006

Slurpee Sex Etiquette

Since I work right next to a 7-11, I go there often to grab a sandwich, gum, water, a soda. . . you know, 7-11 stuff. Well about two months ago they hired this guy that seems to think i want to have his babies. See, it turns out I don't, but that has not deterred him from doing his best to attempt to persuade me to reconsider on a daily basis. At first his lines made me laugh, not a friendly laugh, like "OMG did you really just tell me I get more beautiful every day?" kind of laugh. I've since learned he doesn't pick up on the sarcasm. The compliments continued until I figured out what car he drove, an ugly 1980 something yellow blazer, and refused to go in if he was there. Solved.

Until he started working every night, or at least every night I work. I was determined to starve and dehydrate. Except over the past few weeks the salon needed laundry detergent, garbage bags, paper towels, toilet paper, batteries, tape, and a flashlight. . . and sometimes I needed a slurpee. . . and every time this guy all but humped my leg.

I thought it couldn't get worse. But it has. Now he gives me free slurpee's. Now, I know when you go to bar and a guy buys you a drink, you have to have sex with him, no questions asked. That is why when a guy tries to buy me a drink, I tell them I'm a camel and the one drink in my hand will last me 6 months and to check back then. But what is slurpee etiquette? Do the same rules apply? Did this guy find the loophole, like if he buys me five slurpees he gets to cash in his chips?

Today i just left the $1.20 on the counter when he tried to not ring me up. I glared too, and told him I don't like compliments. No slurpee sex for you ugly 1980 something yellow blazer guy...

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