Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Divorce

Kristen is my super wise friend and her blogs are the bomb. Since her latest post kinda applies to my current situation, I asked her if I could post it here.


From dictionary.com. . .

Commitment:

A. A pledge to do.

B. Something pledged, especially an engagement by contract involving financial obligation.

C. The state of being bound emotionally or intellectually to a course of action or to another person or persons

Promise:

A. A declaration assuring that one will or will not do something; a vow.
synonyms: pledge, swear, vow

These verbs mean to declare solemnly that one will follow a particular course of action.

I start this blog out with these definitions because it will be those of my generation reading & it is my generation I am speaking to. It is my generation that has no respect to these words, no real understanding of their meaning. It is my generation who thinks promise is something to be as flippantly used as the word "yes" or the words "I will". It is my generation that thinks commitment means doing something only if it continues to be convenient, only if it continues to be easy, only if it does not interfere with anything more fun or entertaining.

When did it become that actually doing what one agrees to do, is surprising? When people actually anticipate that someone won't follow through with what they've agreed to do, and therefore take no course of action when precisely that happens? Why is it so difficult for my generation to commit themselves, in their deepest capacity, to something or someone?

Perhaps I am just one of the lucky ones. I was raised in a family where if you say you're going to do it, you had better do it and do it well. If you over extend yourself, well then that is your mistake & those around you should not be made to suffer for your mistake, so you had better continue doing the best of your ability.

I was raised that marriage was never exempt from these standards, in fact it was held higher than those. When you promise someone, when you commit, you follow it through until the end. And the end is when they're throwing dirt on top of your casket. Now, I do understand that there are some very, very rare exceptions to this mentality. Difficulty is not one of those exceptions. Because it no longer fits into your schedule is not one of those exceptions. You found someone better is not one of those exceptions.

Yes, I am angry. Angry that I know more separated & divorced couples than I do happy ones. Angry that there are very few people, aside from close friends, whom I can count on to do exactly what they said they're going to do. Angry that it is my generation that seems to have this problem, because it is my generation that will be leading the country in a few years. How is it that we plan to do that, to lead a country, if we can't even work out our differences with our spouses? Do we think opposing countries are going to be any easier?

I'm sure I will be told that I can't say much, I've never been married. I've never had a severely difficult life where following through with things was just made "impossible". Maybe you're right for saying so. But i have been on the receiving end many times of someone who simply did not follow through with what they promised. I have lived in a house with a father who's temper could be rivaled maybe slightly by God himself, as well as a mother who stayed & now they are my shining, beautiful example.

Do not speak to me of naivety & being "uninformed" to what real life carries. I have been told by God that I can do all things, through Christ who strengthens me. All things. Not only convenient things, not only fun things, not only easy things. All things.

I wonder how better life would be for you today if God woke up this morning and just decided he could do something much more fun today than watching your back. Or that little promise he made with the whole flood thing, nah, that was just a promise at the time. Or the commitment of sticking with you, even when you want absolutely nothing to do with Him.... well you've become too difficult for Him to handle, too much of a burden & your next door neighbor is so much more fun! How would your life be then?

If we are created in the image of Him and should strive to be like Him?

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